Saturday, August 23, 2014

Not a great night.

Pretty much every day of this pregnancy, I've felt like a pretty crummy mom.  I don't have the energy or the want to do the fun and usually simple things that bring such joy to my daughter's tiny heart.  I just don't feel good almost all of the time. And this anemia/can't catch my breath business is wearing on me hard. My patience levels are at an all time low, and my sweet girl tends to get the brunt of that. Bed time isn't usually enjoyable for me anymore; every little disagreement or button push sends me to an upset place quickly. And I seem to have sensory sensitivity overload as well. Even being hugged too long (as if there were such a thing) or climbed all over or grabbed or pulled on...grates my nerves. Almost literally. 

I hate it. 

The worst part is that I know I'll never get this time back. These days are so precious and the ones of her being an only child are dwindling. Quickly. Because of this, I feel guilty almost all of the time.

I hate it.  

I'm just a sad mama needing to vent tonight.  Praying my hormones and levels line out soon. And that I somehow find the umph to fight through and be everything my little girl needs me to be right now. 

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