Monday, August 11, 2014

a little whine.

I'm going to use this today as my vent board.  Don't feel pressured to read--I know it's no fun...

Yesterday was the first time this entire pregnancy that instead of feeling like time was flying by, I felt like I still had forever to go.  I'm down to less than 10 weeks (sched. c-section 1 week early), and while that seems so incredibly close (and in reality, it is!), these symptoms are kicking into high gear and making it feel like I'll never feel good again.

Let me say this--I adore being pregnant.  I am beyond grateful for every kick and prod and wiggle my little man gives me to remind me we're in this together.  I am humbled to know that we were gifted another precious miracle when so many are denied that opportunity.  I am thrilled to be allowed and able to carry my children.  I am blessed by this journey.

With Arabella, I really had such a smooth pregnancy until the very end--no mood swings, light but controllable indigestion, no major discomfort.  (all of that changed in that last month, but it was still doable).

This little boy had other plans for his mama.  My indigestion/heartburn started around week 8 and has gotten severely worse each week.  Last night, I was up for most of the night battling reflux, readjusting my head height, and popping Tums.  I've been taking Pepcid the past month to try to help (per Dr.'s orders) and they haven't done much.  It's just out and out miserable.  And it's not only at night.  And it doesn't only hinge on what I eat or drink (even a glass of water will sit at the base of my throat).  When I think of 10 more weeks and this situation has only worsened the whole time, I get a little teary in my eyes...  I'm really hoping and praying that at my appt next week, I'll be far enough along to take something stronger and that it will work!

The lovely RLS also started to make its debut this week.  Hunter even joked how much the baby must be moving last night because he was shaking the whole bed...  I can't help it!  No position is comfortable and if I'm stretched out, my legs want to move.  Constantly.

Breathing has become incredibly difficult.  And oddly enough, standing still is when it's the hardest to catch it.  I've had to resort to squatting down while standing in line at a store.  Or pulling up a case of paper while a friend browsed the aisles.  I just can't stand for hardly any period of time.  Of course, I lose it when I'm active too, but strangely, standing takes it right out of me the quickest.

This little boy is strong.  And feisty.  Arabella moved a lot too so that's nothing new for me.  But she was just a wiggler--she'd roll and stretch and move pretty fluidly.  This boy.  He has been jabbing me since the first time I felt him move!  Like out and out punching and kicking (oh the joys we'll have when he gets here if this reflects his personality!).  He literally does flips--I can feel it and see it as he twirls around and around in the same spot.  And he'll aggressively kick my innards and my ribs.  I don't know about you, but to me, that doesn't feel so great!

And woo to the hoo, I get to go in tomorrow morning for my glucose test.  I am praying so fully that everything comes back great from this.  Just having that test done once is terrible enough for me.

So here we go little fella--10ish weeks is all we have left together this way.  And then I get to snuggle you in close and kiss all over your little face.  And my favorite part--I get to watch your daddy and sister do the same.  We are all so very excited to meet you and add your dynamic to our already crazy little family.  But can you take it easy on me until then?

love, angie/mama

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