I got a lot of questions and side eyes and disbelief at the fact that I was leaving my kids that long. I'll be the first to admit--it was a crazy long time. I dropped them off on a Saturday afternoon and didn't get the back until the next Sunday afternoon...8 nights, 9 days.
But I will also be the first to tell you that it was completely worth it. I love my babies with every ounce of my being and I missed them terribly. But my role as mama is not the only one my life fills, and it is not always the one that can receive all of me. Youth ministry reached into my heart and latched on tight--and doing Kingdom work alongside these people is another role that receives pretty high priority.
I am so grateful for our parents' willingness and ability to keep our kids while I was away. Knowing I did not have to worry about my flesh and blood kiddos allowed me to be there completely and fully for my blood bought kiddos all week. And I don't have a single trace of doubt that I was where I should have been.
There's a lot of chance for youth group time and one on one discussion/counseling/mentoring. This was my third year to be able to take our group, and each year has been so different, but equally beautiful and filled to the brim with growth.
"Lyft" (picture the Y in that spelling as a person with their hands outstretched) was the theme this year, taken from Psalm 121:1-2, "I lift us my eyes to the hills--where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, maker of Heaven and Earth." The week centered around lifting our eyes and ourselves to our God, even in the middle of pain and brokenness and loneliness and fear...not that those things will not happen to us, nor will they go away, but that our God is bigger than all of that. And lifting to Him brings a peace that allows us to deal with our circumstances; it brings a willingness that allows us to see and love people; it brings a complete understanding and reminder that our life's focus should not be ourselves.
We brought 7 kids with us this year. Some of them don't have much going on right now. Some of them are yet to have anything major happen. And some of them are in the middle of walking through some really tough stuff. This week opened hearts, healed broken ones, released emotions, and forged relationships...
I was able to catch the tears of several of my kids, my heart breaking with theirs.
I was able to give guidance in some ways, and simply offer a gentle presence in others.
I was able to give guidance in some ways, and simply offer a gentle presence in others.
I was able to pray directly over each of them.
I was able to laugh and share jokes and be silly and make memories.
I was able to still "be mama" and take care of them when they got sick.
I was able to experience Eucharisteo with each of them, giving thanks in the presence of our risen Jesus through the breaking of bread.
I was able to learn and study and have questions of my own answered.
I was able to worship unabashedly and fully present.
I was able to stand in the gap for my kids and their families.
I was able to spend the week with my best friend, growing in Spirit.
I was able to get to know them deeper and strengthen bonds.
I was able to listen.
I was able to see.
I was able to see.
I was able to feel and experience the movement of the Holy Spirit.
I was able to lift my eyes, my heart, my hands, my prayers, my attention, my focus, my life...
I was able to love on these kids (they'll never really know how much I love them).
Y'all are my people. And I'm so proud of that and grateful for that.
Thank you for letting this "old" gal be your friend. I love you!
xoxo, angie
"Joy" --Rend Collective
We're choosing celebration
Breaking into freedom
You're the song
You're the song
Of our hearts
We cast aside our shadows
Trust You with our sorrows
You're the song
You're the song
Of our hearts
We're dancing to the rhythm of Your heart
We're rising from the ashes to the stars
You're the joy joy joy lighting my soul
The joy joy joy making me whole
Though I'm broken, I am running
Into Your arms of love
The pain will not define us
Joy will reignite us
You're the song
You're the song
Of our hearts
The dark is just a canvas
For Your grace and brightness
You're the song
You're the song
Of our hearts
We're dancing to the rhythm of Your heart
We're rising from the ashes to the stars
You're the joy joy joy lighting my soul
The joy joy joy making me whole
The joy joy joy making me whole
Though I'm broken, I am running
Into Your arms of love
You're the joy
The song in my heart
The hope of my soul
In the shadows
In the sorrows
In the desert
When the pain hits
You are constant
Ever-present
You're the song of my heart
You're the joy joy joy lighting my soul
The joy joy joy making me whole
Though I'm broken, I am running
Into Your arms of love
Into Your arms
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